As I am deactivating this page soon (as promised), I would like to make this my last official status. Oh and here’s a picture of the first dress I ever bought!

I am a faafafine and although I wasn’t raised or brought up as one, I eventually was able to come out of my shell, spread my wings and learned to accept myself…I know, I know you’ve heard this story from so many other faafafines before. But what they usually don’t tell you is how hard it is to come out. I know for me it was difficult. Hell, it was scary and f*#@ing confusing too. I have always looked up to and found strength in seeing my older faafafine sisters and the struggles they dealt with, the battles they fought and the sacrifices they made, which has now made it so much easier for my younger sisters to come out as well.

Because we are so special, so unique, so different, it is our ineluctable duty to work together and support one another…or at least that’s what I think. I adore my faafafine sisters and I think that each and every one of them is beautiful and capable of so much in life than the usual stereotype. But there are just some of them who are so jealous that they constantly try to bring their other sisters down. What saddens me is that there are some who are even jealous of me. I don’t get why anyone would ever be jealous of me. Yes, I’m smart! And Yes, I'm beautiful! But so are all of YOU! Yes, I became a lecturer at age 21, but that was only because I just got out of college then and was desperate for a high-paying job! I left when I realized it was not something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Yes, I'm a Manager, but I don’t like bragging about it because I’m not someone who’s materialistic. I don’t wear fancy high heels or expensive mena dresses to parties, drink over-priced cocktails or dine at expensive restaurants. That’s not how I was raised and now how I would want my kids to be raised either. And if there were cashflow problems at work, I’d rather not get paid but give whatever I earned to my staff who work so hard to keep me and the company I work for afloat. junior teenage cocktail party garments

So you’re probably wondering where this is going…..Earlier this month I wrote out a list of my new year’s resolutions, one of them was to become Miss SFA. Since then, I have received a few messages from some of my faafafine sisters that I should NEVER run for the pageant. When I asked them why, they replied by saying that I was too dramatic on Facebook and that I can never proudly represent the faafafine community because my smart mouth will bring all of them shame and condemnation, tainting any achievements and hindering any progress to the path they have tried so hard to smoothly pave over the years. I have never been a fan of pageants. I think they’re a cheap way of saying you’re talented, smart and beautiful. The only reason why I wanted to run was because I wanted to become part of something big. I wanted to be an advocate, a voice for the faafafines who are victims of discrimination and bullying. I saw the pageant as a stepping-stone to getting me there! I wanted to make a difference, to encourage other sisters to live in their truths and be accepting of who they are. They deserve all the happiness in the world. Everyone does.
And it pains me to say this but I have made up my mind. I have decided that I will NEVER run for some pageant where I’ll be judged on how pretty I look, how talented I am or how smart I sound under pressure in front of thousands of people. I don’t need some pageant to tell me that I am beautiful, I am talented, I am smart. I F***ING KNOW I AM!

Now for those of you who have gotten to know me on this page through the statuses, posts and photos I uploaded, it was a pleasure meeting all of you. I'm sure at some point you were either annoyed, shocked or simply amused. I would just like to say, thank you. Thank you for bearing with me and for allowing me to find you that bit of laughter in life you were missing, or that eye-opening issue you needed to know about, or that tad bit of lip-twitching or eyelids-fluttering when you see my ugly photos on your newsfeed, or a controversial topic you needed to be well informed on. For those that blocked me because of something I said, please keep in mind that I am someone so fierce, so dangerous that I could literally breathe fire from my nose and destroy you and your reputation. That should teach you not to cross me again.

To my dear faafafine sisters, I hope and pray that God continues to bless each and every one of you with BEAUTY, TALENT and, of course, LOVE.

Sincerely,
Jahmaylah Poukahuntess Oliva Pope Grey Smith Taumeasina Jordin James